A friend of mine recently shared an article with me titled “Would you want to know if your partner cheated?” I found this to be an intriguing headline but was disappointed with the conclusion when it read: “Ignorance is bliss”, meaning, it’s better not to know since what you don’t know won’t affect your happiness.

I don’t agree with this. Yes, knowing the truth many times means getting hurt by it, especially if the truth means finding out something that turns out to be lies, but being ignorant is worse. Here’s why…

Ignorance is the lack of knowledge, lack of learning, and being uniformed – it basically means being dumb. Being happy in a relationship because I choose to ignore what’s really going on, and it is only a matter of time before reality strikes and I discover how foolish I had been.

We might not get to know certain truths right away, but at least we should have an attitude of wanting the truth in everything we keep close to us.

Remaining ignorant to anything at all is not growing, not learning, and not becoming wiser. Not being informed on what is going on around you. Remaining oblivious to your surroundings might seem like a ‘comfort zone’, but it’s more an ‘artificial zone’, a place where everything we achieved, we grew, and has happened turns out to be a lie. It’s a place where we remain weak instead of facing the facts of life which are not always going to make us smile, but are opportunities to help us grow. Sometimes things we learn from hurt us, but even hurt in life is something we need to face, and these help us grow as well. They help us understand people and life better, and make us stronger and better prepared for the next mountain we may have to face. I don’t want to be stuck at the base because I’m too scared of climbing the real mountains of life, and the sooner I face the truth, the sooner I can reach the top and enjoy the thrills and blessings there.

One of the things I think we should not be ignorant about are the potential relationship threats that come with technology and greater connectivity. Because we’re so easy to reach, the potential for “connecting inappropriately” with others is also there. It’s good to be aware of this and guard against this if we want our relationships to thrive in this connected age.

I don’t want to be legalistic about this though, so a simple rule of thumb that is good to follow is to ask yourself this simple question when having conversations with others, particularly members of the opposite sex:

“If my partner were having a similar conversation with someone else would it bother me?”

If the answer is “yes”, why would I do something that may potentially hurt someone I say I love?

If the answer is no, then there shouldn’t be a problem but don’t go expecting of your partner what you’re not willing to extend to them.

This isn’t an original idea. It’s actually really old. It’s called the Golden Rule. Do unto others what you would have them do unto you and don’t do unto others what you don’t want them to do to you.

I for one want to be treated with respect and honesty. I need to respect my partner and be honest with him, even when it comes to truths that hurt. Cheating is being deceitful, and keeping that lie is also being deceitful, and holding on to a lie means you will have to keep it up for the rest of your life, just like holding onto an attitude of ‘ignorance is bliss’ also means setting a steady trail of sparks, ready to explode at some time, any time. It’s just a matter of time. So let’s think long term when we make decisions. A relationship should be transparent where you can be open, and share the journey of your lives together. It’s not about two perfect people living perfectly. It’s, like David once wrote, two imperfect people being perfected by love.