One of the most attractive things on anyone is confidence. One of the most unattractive things is insecurity. The truth is we all have a certain level of insecurity, especially when it comes to the parts of us we’re not too proud of or even ashamed about. But just as everyone has things they’re insecure about, I believe that everyone also has something, a gift, or gifts from God that they can cultivate and find value in. To think that we were not born with insecurities, but develop a lot of them over time, and often as a cumulative effect from what society tells us. The times I remember this (I am definitely someone that needs reminders), it’s a wake up call, and a big reminder to focus on something much much greater than society. It’s funny how people are often mocked for being original or different, but the ones who stick to their values and embrace their differences without giving into the ‘world’ really shine.

Here are some simple ideas to help build confidence.

1. Find confidence in God – Confidence that comes from God doesn’t lead to pride (which is actually still insecurity pretending not to be). Relying on God actually leads to humility and more security because you know that your confidence lies in someone loving and capable. This is called faith. True faith in God makes us more confident, not because we are self-sufficient or better than others, but because we are sure that the one who loves us thinks we’re lovely. As much as I love it that David finds me lovely, I know that my confidence has to come from something, I mean someone more certain than what’s given in this short life on earth. That’s God, and the truth is, as I look back at my life, He has been a faithful lover. Why will I put my confidence elsewhere?

2. Cultivate the gifts God has given you – Each of us are given gifts. We didn’t have to work to get them, which is why they are really gifts, (that’s grace). But we have to work to use them, make the most out of them so they can blossom into something even more wonderful. If someone handed you a gift this Christmas, and once you unwrapped the lovely wrapping, you revealed a beautiful, personalized gift inside, would you put it down and forget about it, or will you enjoy it and get the best use out of it? Of course we will use it, and it’s the same with our God given talents. We already have them, and we can return the gift to God by using them. Develop them and plant healthy seeds while we watch them bloom into something way more amazing than anything we could conjure up on our own.

3. Share your gifts with others – I have realized one of the best ways I can use my gifts is to help others. God gave me certain strengths different to the next person, so I can either keep them to myself or use them to motivate, encourage and help others, which in turn blesses me. I have had many selfish moments, but find it truly inspiring when I manage to take my eyes off myself and focus on the good of others. It’s amazing how instantly this brings joy to my life.

1 Peter 4:10 ESV
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: