Life has been rather colorful the past few months for me, and as some of you may know, some of the most colorful parts have come with dating David Bonifacio.

The dating life is definitely different from the single one, and dating David makes it even more challenging… err… interesting. (I need to be careful. He reads every post – and has something to say about every single one!) Seriously, it’s been a lot of fun. I think one of the biggest reasons why we get on so well is that at the end of the day, despite us being two very flawed people, there is a clear desire to please God. This helps guide us and keep our pride in check, which we both have a lot of.

One funny thing I’ve noticed is how shocked many Filipinos are when they find out that David is 100% Filipino. A common exchange goes like this:

Person: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Person: Is he also here?
Me: Yes! He’s Filipino.
Person: As in full Filipino?
Me: Yes! He’s 100% Filipino!

This really made me think, “Why are so many people so surprised that I’m dating a 100% Filipino guy? What’s so surprising about that?”

From my experience, dating this 100% Filipino guy has been great – well, overall, well, so far – and while we definitely have huge differences, I don’t see why it would be surprising for me to date someone like David just because he’s Filipino.

Some girls have told me that Filipino boys can be negative in certain ways but that’s true for all nationalities. Every culture has amazing things, not so amazing things, irritating things, and even ugly things. Every culture. So while culture and background are definitely influential in shaping a person, we should be looking at what values were shaped and adopted in that person more than what nationality the person was chosen by God to have.

It’s been said that Filipino men can be mama’s boys, never really being able to break free from family pressures, which I know is true, but if someone values what’s right over what family says, then there’s no reason to worry. Because the beauty is that you may have someone who loves his family yet is mature on his own and can make independent choices.

I’ve heard quite a bit of Filipinas say that “White guys are better.” as if all “white guys” are the same. There are many great “white guys” but there are also many terrible “white guys”.

My point is: if you have your values wrong, you’ll find the wrong guy, no matter what his nationality because you will attract people with similar values.

And there’s a bigger question you should ask yourself:

Are you the type of person that the type of person you are looking for is looking for.

Yes it’s a bit of a tongue twister, but read it a few times and you will get it!

To break it down…
People tend to have a long list of characteristics they would like in a partner. This is a great thing to have, as we all know what we want in a person, giving or taking a few things as nobody is ‘perfect’. However often we fail to look at ourselves first. If the kind of guy we would like met us, would they like us? Would they respect us? And I think respecting each other is very important.

Are we the type of person he would be excited to bring home to meet his parents? Do we posess the qualities he needs and wants in a lifetime partner?

These are more difficult questions to answer. I have to admit, even I find myself getting insecure about these things at times. But I’ve realized that it’s better be aware by reflecting on the tough questions because that’s the first step to improving.

I love the Philippines, and one of the main reasons, as I have written before in one of my blog posts, is that I love the people here. Filipino’s are very loving and warm people, and I always feel welcome here. I think Filipinos should be proud to be Filipinos, just as I’m proud to be friends with so many. But as with any nationality, if you go to the wrong places, you will most likely find the wrong guy. IF you want a quality guy, then don’t go searching in night clubs, and even if you search in churches, you can’t just assume that every guy or girl there shares your values.

Where should we look then?

The Bible tells us where.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
– Matthew 6:33

We should be looking to God.

So what’s it like dating a 100% Filipino guy? And what’s it like dating a complex guy like David? I’ll save that for another post. For now, embrace who you are, whoever you are, seek God for the answers to your questions, and be open to anything instead of relying on generalities.

You never know what beautiful surprise will present itself.


 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
– Matthew 6:33